ARTICLES


The 2005 TAWARDS - The Tawards returns after a four year hiatus, over six months late and crappier than ever before!

PS3 vs X-BOX 360 - A Paul West Special Report- Paul West looks into the future to compare the strengths and weaknesses of the PS3 and X-Box 360.

Lapin, King of the Rabbits- A shocking discovery is made upon analysis of the Spider Man 2 DVD cover.

When Metal Slug was in Pharaoh's Land Part 2- The saga continues.

Hot or Not- Seth Carr explains his morbid fascination with rating people based on how they look, the shallow bastard.

SNK announces new games to be canceled in 2004- Link to IGN article discussing SNK's plans to develop new games on the PS2 platform which will later be cancelled.

When Metal Slug was in Pharaoh's Land Part 1- The true origins of Tim's morbid hatred of Sony Entertainment of America are revealed.

Cotton Candy Easter Bunny- Tim cheers up his sister using Easter magic.

The Wrath of Greg Oxen- I respond to the only piece of hate mail - or any kind of mail - ever sent to this site by someone no one here knew. As amusing as it was, this is probably why Eric later left Border-Town.

Tim's Mail Bag- Tim Simpson lends a helping hand by giving advice to various fans who have written to him.

Manual Mix-Up- I finally put two and two together regarding the non-sequitur of a cover on my cell phone manual.

Free PC Games That Are Good- The subject line says it all.

Eschuchar Orifice Man- The brief time in which I had super human abilities is documented here.

Segata Sanshiro - Tribute is paid to the iconic Sega Saturn mascot, Segata Sanshiro.

TOP 20 GAMES OF ALL TIME- Defender of interplanetary peace Tim Simpson comes out of arbitrary hiatus to inform ignorant planet Earth of the Top 20 Games of All Time.

Florida Funtimes!- I went to the sun shine state in late May 2002 to visit my cousin and take some pictures. It was like being on a different planet! Read all about it.

The UTSA Adventure- The only good part of going to school at UTSA was that I took these pictures and titled it "the UTSA adventure" as part of a spoof on Cygnus 183's web page. Read through the link to see what UTSA was really like back when it was a commuter campus populated by 40 year olds.

Cygnus 183 style webpage- On April 6th, 2002, I copied www.cygnus183.com 's website, so this is what people saw when they went to my old web page. Get it, the April Fools joke was that it looked like a different web page than the one they had intended on viewing! HILARIOUS! Note that Cygnus183.com used to look almost exactly like this but has long since been redesigned so now this joke makes no sense. Also, the "HOME" button on the left has nothing but dead links since it points to content on the old site which is not hosted here on Border-Town. The "contact" section is based on Robin's webpage, which had contact information for his friends, even though none of them helped build his site. To each his own. But for my contacts section, I just picked people I didn't know that well and gave them fake names, thinking the joke would be that my friends would see all these strangers and think "what the hell? So what are we, DIRT?!" But later I ended up becoming good friends with many people shown on the contacts page, and had falling outs with many of my older friends so now this joke too is strange and amusing only to me. Before I finish this blurb from hell, note that this is where the UTSA picture article mentioned above comes from. Also, when I took those pictures in Albertsons I used a video camera and they asked me to leave. When I, in distress, told my friends that they looked at me like I was a serial rapist, Matt from MisterFilms.com told me without jest or irony that sometimes I "look creepy." I still haven't forgiven him for the remark.

Mister Films style webpage- On April 1st, I made the site look like www.misterfilms.com. Unfortunetly, due to the new design of the site, you can no longer view the site as it looked then. There's also a song that plays in the background, which is really the only thing worthwhile about this. It contains a translations which explains the lyrics. It's actually a segment of the cast music for the un-produced anime movie of LADY POUSHA. How it plays in the background is also a parody of MisterFilms.com, which at one point in its history played a pirated clip of a Beastie Boys song despite not having a license to do so. If anyone from the Beastie Boys is reading this, yes, I did record multiple viewings of the webpage and am prepared to testify on this subject in a court of law. Let's see how "creepy" Matt thinks I am when his ass is rotting in jail...

Spin 6 Script Review- Mister Film's Matt Ryan shoots, and, unfortunately misses. Click on the link for the full story. (This is not a real script review, but a joke. The real Spin 6 is very well written.)

Disney Stocks Sky Rocket - This is actually a link to a CNN article, but it just made me want to puke. You should read it so that you puke, as well. After all, who doesn't enjoy a good puke?

SPIN 6 PREPRODUCTION RAMPAGE! - UTSA wouldn't let me put up fliers inviting people to audition for Spin 6. Hey, there's only so much excitement to go around, you know.

The 2001 TAWARDS - This was the first annual Tim Awards, or Tawards. Some of the results were hotly debated in Border Town afterwards. Okay, actually, no one gave a crap and I don't think anyone even read them. Nice pictures, though.

 

 

All articles (C) 2002 Tim Simpson, All Rights Reserved



-All material © 2007 Tim Simpson unless otherwise noted-
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